Dear significant other,
You’ve suspected for a long time that this “freelance” thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Where are the flexible hours, the last-minute vacations, the tranquil beach bungalows with exceptional free wifi? We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but you may be in love with a Frazzled Freelancer.
1. This week they’re taking you out for sushi. Next week, it’s ramen and tears.
Your freelance sweetheart’s income is so volatile, it feels like you’re strapped to a reeling rollercoaster of financial destruction. This month, they’re loaded, next month, they’re hearing crickets … and weeping onto the beautifully backlit keyboard of their brand new Macbook Air. The struggle of feast and famine is real.
2. The phone is ringing off the hook … but only when you’re in bed.
Your self-employed soulmate has a lot of extra time on their hands during the business day. But as soon as you two curl up for a cozy night, all those quiet clients suddenly spring forth with top-priority catastrophes. Your true love is a beau without business boundaries.
3. They’re doing everything themselves … even when it means making 35 cents an hour.
It sure was cute when your industrious arm candy spent 57 hours hand-crafting their very own custom business cards. Now they’re up all night struggling with their bookkeeping and obsessing over every pixel on every proposal. Please, spare their ego, and don’t mention that some people outsource everything so they can focus on getting real work done.
4. They’ll get to the gym to work off that belly fat … tomorrow.
Have you noticed a growing spare tire around the entrepreneurial object of your affection? Don’t remind them that the mind and body are one, and that great business owners make exercise a top priority. They’re too busy – and way too smart – to hang out with the jocks at the gym.
5. OH S#!T… I HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON THIS?!?
Each year on April 12, your main squeeze will suddenly awaken from their standard 3 p.m. nap on your futon and release a horrific, blood-curdling scream. Cue the annual ritual of spewing anti-government vitriol, threatening to move to a cabin in the woods, and suggesting that if they just made no money at all, they’d be better off. You’ve got rent covered, right?
How you can help:
If you can’t steal away in the dark of the night, never to be seen again, try dropping some subtle hints that your hubby should hit up RobHoward.co.
That’s where freelancers learn how to build thriving, location-independent businesses, with the boundaries, cash flow, and flexibility that will make you shout from the rooftops that your partner finally has “a real job.”
(Getting them to stop napping on the futon is up to you.)